we took some photos then did some drawings:




i did the one of noel and arsy versy. i cant remember the last time i actually finished a drawing.

first thing on my list of expensive things i dont need but would buy if i had a gillion dollars:



250 bones at toysrus.

noel was scouring the internet for something funny, found this:



then left it on my myspace page as a comment. awesome. just when you think its getting a little repetitive the lady with the towel comes in.

i immediately called hayley after watching it. she is the only person i know who would completely and totally appreciate it the same way i do. word.

the bubble wrap toy was pretty cool in theory but was kind of not as satisfying as i had hoped. this one seems like it might be better:



there are 12 different faces of which you get 3:



i hope i get pouty airhead and fat. glass is pretty good too. i ordered it from strapya-world.com which is also selling the lamest thing of all time:



croc stockings. gross.

okay ONE more and then i promise im gunna stop it with the cat videos for atleast a little while. but seriously OMFG:



his feet! not meant to live.

last night we went to our friend chase's lady friends bday gathering and got pretty drunkers. we walked probably 20 blocks back to my house and i discovered that the mcdonalds by my place has a 24 hr WALK UP WINDOW. me and you miss shore will be hitting that up when you visit. chicken nuggets mighty kids after midnight sans car= the futur. i was pretty stoked.

i was looking for a picture of it to post but instead came across this:



"Installed last week across from Wrigley Field in Chicago is a giant robotic egg that cracks open every morning to reveal a yoke that says “Fresh Eggs Daily”. The billboard egg begins to crack open at dawn and stays open through the breakfast hours. It then closes back up until the next morning. Leo Burnett developed the idea and worked with Detroit based Prop Art Studio on the fabrication."

so friggin fresh. i cant help but love mcdonalds even though they are responsible for the organs marbled with fat inside of me. well no probably burger king. actually probably... its my fault. yeah. mmmm.

godfathers pizza is not something im familiar with and im not sure how i came across these:



ummm can you believe how sexy those ladies are? shit. i dont know if that is an actual aired commercial, but if it is, they must have a line burstin out the door.

and then this guy:



he has gotta bring in all kindsa biz. he does it a lot sometimes and his birthday is the whole thirteenth month. marketing genius. noel and i were trying to remember his name and all i could think of was "touchey the clown." that would be a pretty funny name for a cranky clown.

also that cat at the table video was something recommended to me and not a featured video so i dunno if its popular or whats. this is the kind of stuff youtube recommends me. it makes me so stoked:



all of the videos of this cat are great. i think the japanese are over feeding their cats on purpose, just like i would/will when i have a cat, to maximize cuteness.



i was going to post a bunch but there are too many. i strongly suggest lookin at all of mugumogu's videos. this cat is too cute to live.

im sorry that i am so obsessed with cats and endless videos of them on youtube. wait. no im not.

so im getting freakish wifi signal in here so ive been watching more of this cat:



really? not a phone call to help a colbs out? not a text to say, "have you seen this effing cat on youtube with the smoosh face doin funny fat people stuff? wearin one of those stupid cat wigs also?" plz. hook me up with any fluffy pants, such as these:

so everyone has seen this but me right?





i dont get internet in my room so i have to sit in my hallway or the common room to watch cat videos. im so behind.

we watched a really disturbing movie last night:



stephen chow is like so funny and parts of this movie are too, like the big fat actor playing an eight year old girl with a dubbed tiny voice, or the little kid with the comb over. However the torturing of the cute little space dog was almost unbearable to watch. The kid with the comb over tries to cut cj7 open with a friggin saw! man. too much. do they think its funny in china? maybe im nuts i dunno. we watched some of the extra stuffs and found out that a lot of the little boys at the private school were actually played by little girls. the main kid included. stephen chow said he found that the little girls in china were smarter in most of the auditions.

a little about my japanese class:

Ive got 5 hrs a week of the stuff 4 of which are ALL IN JAPANESE. they are also taught by 4 of the cutest effing girls from japan. i have one hr of just grammar then 4 hrs of drills. the drills consist of us all sitting in a circle with name cards so that they ladies can call on us at random. one of them is so pretty, cute and so perfectly japanese that i can barely look at her. its pretty much the best thing ever. i feel real lucky to know a bit of the language already though because if i didnt i would probably be completely fucking lost. word. love them japanese.

for anyone who is still listening... i'm gunna start blogging again. i swears. now that i've got it all sorted out: new place, school, funds. word.

my japanese class is amazing. my apartment is amazing. my life is pretty close to amazing. that is all for now.

i have a new favorite breakfast place in portland. helser's on alberta has the best looking and tasting breakfast i have maybe ever seen/ tasted. i had the german pancake (aka dutch baby) and noel had the french toast. both are pictured below:





i also had a side of potato pancakes. i know this post is really boring, but i dunno. i havent been so stoked on a restaurant in awhile. i mean shit look at the food!



everything is basically under 8 bucks. also our waitress was really nice. this was an actually conversation we had:

waitress: woah that was weird. i just saw a guy walk by that looked just like kevin bacon.

me: really?

waitress: yeah except he was blonde. whats that movie called where he turns invisible?

noel: hollow man.

waitress: yeah! you know like right before he turns invisible he sort of becomes bright and has blonde hair? he looked just like that.


next time im ordering the crumpet sandwich. daaaang.

im taking out a cat loan:



um awesome.

are you kidding me?

http://www.popeater.com/television/article/raucous-comedian-bernie-mac-dead-at-50/126357?icid=100214839x1207184410x1200390033

anyone who really knows me knows i love bernie and the bernie mac show. dang dude, why'd you gotta go so soon??

here's to uncle bernie sittin in an e-z cloud talking to america and shouting empty threats of child abuse at his misbehavin kids up in this heaven i keep hearin about.

welcome to my new home:



well if all goes well anyway i will have a brand new studio in this beast. its an old hotel that has been gutted and turned into 44 units in a super nice part of northwest p town. mine is on the 3rd floor with a view that is, well, pretty nice in fact. the inside is huge and has a million staircases. theres gunna be a common room with a couches and a fireplace. got to pick my studio out of like 30 apts. its around the corner from a million places to get beer and good food. there is also a big thrift store and a trader joes just a few blocks away. also i can peep the ever changing sale rack at urban outfitters whenever i want.

who's stoked? me!

im not as into drinking energy drinks as i used to be since i sadly and thankfully spend zero time in 7 elevens and walgreens these days. i used to drink at least 8 oz of sugar free red bull a day for like a year or something. being in the northwest for some reason, has turned me into a healthier eater. eating organic stuff, not really eating meats or letting anything that contains high fructose corn cancer enter my mouth has made me feel pretty good, but when i see something like this:



i am inspired to hit up a few convenient stores to see what i have been missing. appetite suppressant and good for your skin. sign me up. i once drank an original go girl at a party cuz i was the designated driver. also cuz it matched my sweater.

two sets of photos i have been meaning to post that i think might be enjoyable to look at:

The Seattle Zoo-hoo:

This black bird was chillin on a basketball hoop on the way in, getting me psyched to see some cute wildlife



there is a tiger in there somewhere


fennik in the flesh!


i was very surprised this thing had a cute face. cant remember what it is. i think maybe a komodo dragon?



orangutan on some serious paper eating business


These wild african dogs had the biggest wangers i have ever seen. on an animal that size anyway. it was hittin them in the ribs as they ran! besides that they were really neat


Hippo was loving the sticko




the zoo map/guide deally pictured these guys on it. it was a new habitat i guess. pretty boring but i like the picture



they shoulda featured this guy. he was sleeping when we walked up cuz there was noone around. we woke him up. he was seriously so close it was amazing



piranha


poison dart froggy


this baby gorilla was 8 months old and so cute


the animal fun continued at katies amazing new home

julius


gustav


and then it was the 4th of july one day





i started using blogger to upload photos instead of copying links from photobucket like a god damn fool. they are clickable and enlarge-able now. cool!

this is probably the best commercial on tv right now. in awhile.

i like pink:



"its peg pelvis pete come to kill us!" the wilbur cobb character is not included unfortunately in the clip. his various body parts melt off his nonsense spewing face and it is AMAZING.

this is my favorite new kids song that i forgot existed. the dancing is worth watching while enjoying the song:



i also sampled some international idols and sweden was the best:

i want to know if this song is real:


my fav:



ne mah who whoo.

cats playing the theremin mini:

i used to watch this when i was three:





twenty three years later, i still think its pretty cool.

happy memorial day:

yups.

today is my birthday! i am 26! here are some well wishes:

from mearii
"you better be doing this at midnight"


from porcelain queen of the lesbos


my lovely and talented coworker megan is having a party in my honor today. i am most grateful. happy birthday to myself!

two of my favorite things are billy joel and its a wonderful life. what do they have in common that i never realized until recently rediscovering my favo billy joel song? 1985:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbuU1OtaX4g

sadly i cannot embed it here because mr joel seems to have a real problem with anyone on youtubes and myspaces posting things of his. george bailey had things a little rough, with potter takin over his family biz etc. however, running a hydrant down (and various fruits) with sexy 80s GF as the passenger, might make me wanna throw myself into the river too.

here is some bj fan art:



i was hoping they named the file piano man. they didnt.

for those who have not seen my japan photos:

http://picasaweb.google.com/colbage

my pics, noels pics, jimmys pics.

so i get home from hanging out at a co workers, sit down, turn the tv to bernie mac and this comes on:



it was a good end to a mostly shitty work day.

i dont understand how these are commercials and not like some drug inspired spot on adult swim:



jesus:



man alive, the guy in the turban gets crushed by a boulder! there are a million. youtube vern fonk. for real.



shipoopi??? if you google it youll see it is a real insurance agency. man.

my favorite thing as of now:



i like his light saber inspired cane and his neck that is missing vertebrae im sure. the live performance is pretty enjoyable too. well, enjoyable for me anyway:



supah dupah.

we went to this internet cafe in shibuya called b@gus:



the first time we went we spent a few hrs in a booth that was real comfortable. you can stay there for 8 hrs for 15 bucks. the "gamers pack" its called. they have free hot/cold coffee, milk tea, soda, melon/apple/pineapple/orange juice, and soft serve ice cream WITH cones. they also have a vending machine that serves fries, chicken, onigiri, and red bean pastries for around 4 bucks. the place is enormous, super dark, and there are all kinds of people there at all hrs. its real quiet and the night we had to sleep there the comfortable booths were all booked so we had to sleep in these:



it was beyond uncomfortable and we could hear people giggling all night possibly playing an intense game of grab ass. it was bizarre.

anywayzz the booths are also equipped with television so we got to watch all kinds of amazing commercials. this was the winner:

i have ALWAYS loved burger king:



a breakfast wrap, burger king, robot, and the future. what more could i ask for? i guess they could have thrown a cat in there for good measure but im not being picky here.

so after returning home from japan:

I am sad. so sad and lonely missing japan. it is clean, safe, and has a bidet function on lotsa toilets. there are also seat warmers on most toilets in tokyo.

pictures, once i find my cam cam cord, soon to come.

i took some pictures of downtown portland yesterday and im pretty pleased with how they turned out. i love having a camera again. here are some of my favorites:








i like the middle one cuz it looks like a frowny face.

the rest are here:

http://picasaweb.google.com/colbage/Doontoon

i really wasnt gunna acknowledge today at all but then i saw this:



i would accept this valentine. happy valentines day to all whom it applies.

ive been thinking about kindergarten a lot lately and how great my teacher was. she did all these cools things to make us tiny babes believe that the world was a magical place, where leprechauns gave you gum drops on st patricks day. she had me fooled my stuffed animals had human emotions and appreciated the games i played with them. she also had me convinced i was special. she also died from cancer. wtf.

check out this kindergarten though. so cool!!:



and watch the video here:
http://www.monocle.com/sections/design/Web-Articles/Fuji-Kindergarten/

if i get the cancer, im going to that school and giving them some leprechaun gum drops. even though they look like they probably dont need any more magic you know, with a tree growing inside their school and all.

oh my dog:



this works for me on all kinds of next levels. woooooohooooo. damn.

groundhogs day is probably my favorite DAY, not holiday. fav holiday is reserved for thanksgiving. groudhogs is a really adorable idea. its on 2/2 which is the best and luckiest date of all time for me seeing how i love 222 etc blah blah blah blah. any mother fucking wayss, so yeah what better day for me to party on.

last night was great. i went to target and michaels and bought t's and puffy paint to make some groundhog day shirts to wear to the party, since i am a total fuggin goon. everyone was kind enough to humor me and participate in 90's craft hour and our shirts turned out pretty great. except for deb who was being sooo selfish with her MIGRAINE. i swear she is so selfish... poor kiddo :(

shirts:


this is mine close up:



someone actually said to me last night , "people would buy that!" about my shirt. i wanted to reply with, "i know. people are fucking retarded."

so yeah the party was super fun and involved me becky and noel participating in a puppet show. i am a drunk tard and forgot to bring my camera so sadly there are no pictures. we ran out of crap to talk about so i started singing im a believer. pretty sure we covered most of the song with becky doing backup and noel making instrument sounds. i think thats how it went. yeah.. beckys friends are really nice and fun.

since i forgot my camera i took a million pictures when i got home. here are some:

this is becky and i looking sooooo pretty:



and this is noel talking to his boyfriend paul while simultaneously drinking some nasty effing haterade:



srsly. groundhog day is so cool.

im glad i have cool friends that find cool things on the internet. meet francine dancer. i dont think she needs much of an introduction:











i really just have nothing to say about it other than damn dude, lady has done some hard fugglin drugs. also id like to meet steven beacon. she needs to go on tour.

jimmy sent me a link to this kid. take the advice he gave to me and watch it til the very very end:



best ending ever. i really like his piano key teeth. id like to stick stuff between them, like marbles or hot wheels.

this is my favorite god damned commercial right now:



she looks at you as she fills up her diaper. i know that it is gross, but its true!

putting myself at risk for sounding like a complete and total douche is not something im afraid to do. see example below:

i was watching ellen today and she was demonstrating all these inventions. she was doing a terrible job at operating them, possibly because they were crappy inventions or possibly on purpose for a laugh. it made me feel kinda sorry for the people who worked so hard on inventing things like the toaster that butters your toast FOR you, or the kitchen gloves that peel potatoes. talk about backwards advertising for products that cure the ever present disease of inconvenience. anyway, the best one was at the end and she continued to use it and make her guests use it for the rest of the show:



PrettyHotAndThick Mo'Nique was a guest and got her ass rotated on that thing. shit man, you cant MAKE this stuff up! sometimes i well up when i think of all the wonderful garbage there is to watch on television. im serious!

also, last night we were watching adult swim and this totally great show called darkplace came on. this is just the first part of the episode we watched butttt there are a shit ton of videos on the youtubes:

so i wake up today with toilets on the brain. makes sense, seeing as how i am a piece of shit. eh heh. naturally i decided to consult the youtubes and found this video. surprise, its japanese! leave it to them to make shitting and pissing in a toilet the cutest thing youve seen since cats that look like foods:



i wish my pee was blue and did a cool dance after i expelled it from my body. i wish a lot of things.

american idol is out of control exploitive of people with special needs, but if anything is the futur, ths is:



and if anything is a sign of the apocalypse:



please god, let me into heaven.

last night i fell in love with dan deacon all over again. he asked me and noel to start the gauntlet, so im pretty sure he is in love with me too. it will be a summer wedding with lots of audience participation and the occasional house of pain song.

TGIF:

ths fucking guy:



will be planning my futur parties. thanks ben.

im not usually crazy about fart and poo humor buuh hutt i thought this was pretty interesting:



did they really insert yellow powder into his butt hole? i wish the video quality was better. anyway i feel like i need to put up something cute to cancel out the gross. here are some cats getting vacuumed:











i think puddle needs some vacuuming since the dog whispering did no good. no good at all.

hayley has a brain that is amazing and she puts pieces of it up on her blog. i highly recommend it, not only because she gave me a shout out, but because it basically rules. sadly there will be no more gayleys corner because of it, but you know what? that is fucking life man.

peep it son:

http://nevrhadnooneever.blogspot.com/

okaaaaay so after much sweat and tears:

http://picasaweb.google.com/colbage/LATimes

pictures from LA!

best vacation ever probably, although most events were told to me second hand. i miss everyone already so much. awww.


now onto the posting of the cat videos. i know most people are familiar with this image:



and maybe this one:



but what about this video?



okay so we've got the glow-in-the-dark fluffy pants thing down. totally b/o/s/s. now, who is working on the anti-gravity fluffy muffin pants?