disturbing things i have seen recently:

i got netflix maybe a month or so ago? it has been an awesome addition to my life. im always impressed how quickly they ship and receive dvds. their selection is pretty good yada yada. they recommended this movie called the forbidden zone to me so i gave it shot. danny elfman does all the music and plays a few parts in it i think, at least one part for sure. i wouldnt call it a movie. id call it a bunch of actors you recognize, but cant place, (except the lil' person from fantasy island) dancing around and humping shit in front of cardboard sets. although most was hard to watch, there were some gems buried amongst the piles of doo doo. like this:



ficky fie fuck you. that old guy does a lot of the aforementioned humping and its really uncomfortable.

also watched the nicolas cage movie know1ng and was very surprised at how MESSED UP it is! holy god. the disaster scenes are so incredibly graphic and include people on fire running at nicky cage screaming help me!! and only stop screaming because they have completely burned to death right before your very eyes. there is also a subway train derailment that crushes 81 bodies, twisting and ripping through them. again all right before your very eyes. shocking!

and last i was watching letterman, which i do every night now because of the digital switch and free converter box i scored (thnx noel). that lame girl katherine heigl from knocked up and the new romcom "the ugly truth," was on plugging the shitty movie. the clip they rolled was of her wearing "remote controlled vibrating underwear" (which i can only imagine what brilliant hijinks her costar used to get her into them). anyway theyre at dinner with either the chairman of the board of old guy inc./posh family who she is supposed to impress, i cant remember. anyway shes got these panties on. they start vibrating and shes all "oooo aaaaahhhhh" and shit and its revolting. but wait...whos got the remote? gerard muscles? nope. its a ten year old kid at another table! she then continues to climax at the hand of the small and chubby child who is grinning all the while. maybe i am just getting old and sensitive but WTF?! that is some seriously misguided comedy. had this been on tim and eric or something it would have made more sense, because those guys are gross and i expect it from them.

but yeah. if i learned anything from know1ng, this disgusting behavior will soon be erased by a solar wind that will burn us all to ash. except the children, who will all be abducted by aliens and brought to a new planet covered in wheat to start again. srsly. you cant make this stuff up.