this is my favorite god damned commercial right now:



she looks at you as she fills up her diaper. i know that it is gross, but its true!

putting myself at risk for sounding like a complete and total douche is not something im afraid to do. see example below:

i was watching ellen today and she was demonstrating all these inventions. she was doing a terrible job at operating them, possibly because they were crappy inventions or possibly on purpose for a laugh. it made me feel kinda sorry for the people who worked so hard on inventing things like the toaster that butters your toast FOR you, or the kitchen gloves that peel potatoes. talk about backwards advertising for products that cure the ever present disease of inconvenience. anyway, the best one was at the end and she continued to use it and make her guests use it for the rest of the show:



PrettyHotAndThick Mo'Nique was a guest and got her ass rotated on that thing. shit man, you cant MAKE this stuff up! sometimes i well up when i think of all the wonderful garbage there is to watch on television. im serious!

also, last night we were watching adult swim and this totally great show called darkplace came on. this is just the first part of the episode we watched butttt there are a shit ton of videos on the youtubes:

so i wake up today with toilets on the brain. makes sense, seeing as how i am a piece of shit. eh heh. naturally i decided to consult the youtubes and found this video. surprise, its japanese! leave it to them to make shitting and pissing in a toilet the cutest thing youve seen since cats that look like foods:



i wish my pee was blue and did a cool dance after i expelled it from my body. i wish a lot of things.

american idol is out of control exploitive of people with special needs, but if anything is the futur, ths is:



and if anything is a sign of the apocalypse:



please god, let me into heaven.

last night i fell in love with dan deacon all over again. he asked me and noel to start the gauntlet, so im pretty sure he is in love with me too. it will be a summer wedding with lots of audience participation and the occasional house of pain song.

TGIF:

ths fucking guy:



will be planning my futur parties. thanks ben.

im not usually crazy about fart and poo humor buuh hutt i thought this was pretty interesting:



did they really insert yellow powder into his butt hole? i wish the video quality was better. anyway i feel like i need to put up something cute to cancel out the gross. here are some cats getting vacuumed:











i think puddle needs some vacuuming since the dog whispering did no good. no good at all.

hayley has a brain that is amazing and she puts pieces of it up on her blog. i highly recommend it, not only because she gave me a shout out, but because it basically rules. sadly there will be no more gayleys corner because of it, but you know what? that is fucking life man.

peep it son:

http://nevrhadnooneever.blogspot.com/

okaaaaay so after much sweat and tears:

http://picasaweb.google.com/colbage/LATimes

pictures from LA!

best vacation ever probably, although most events were told to me second hand. i miss everyone already so much. awww.


now onto the posting of the cat videos. i know most people are familiar with this image:



and maybe this one:



but what about this video?



okay so we've got the glow-in-the-dark fluffy pants thing down. totally b/o/s/s. now, who is working on the anti-gravity fluffy muffin pants?