i am a fan of black moth super rainbow, despite their ridiculous name. i am also a fan of tobacco, ditto.

i understand that much like adult swim, few people that are not stoners will think these videos are cool:

really? i mean i want one but, really?

terms/phrases i hate:

yacht rock

blu-ray

down to earth

im thinking about taking japanese again:

http://www.meiji.co.jp/sweets/chocolate/kinotake/take/

whenever i get "the blues,"( also known as depression self induced after one too many beers the night before) i always get this song stuck in my head:



it happens every time. but then noel finds and shows me this much beloved tim and eric song, and i feel a little better:

does anybody want to cosign on a supplemental student loan for me? i could repay you by offering you my utmost respect and gratitude, or maybe when ive finished college you could take a ride on my private exclusive yacht. i could toss you a beer that you would catch with your diamond covered hands. diamonds of course would be a gift from me. this is obvious because everyone knows that people with a college degree make millions of dollars.

so please, invest today with as little as a signature and your social security number. i could forge the signature for you and even dig through your trash for your ssn, leaving you with no responsibility whatsoever.

thank you for your time.

just saw star trek. id like to congratulate j j abrams on reinventing the lense flare, then using it in like every scene. i did like the movie. very enjoyable even though the only things i know about star trek i learned from noel, the cable guy, and that one episode they imitate in the cable guy where spock has to fight kirk to the death.

sachiko, smacho, frou frou, kitty meow meow:

disturbing things i have seen recently:

i got netflix maybe a month or so ago? it has been an awesome addition to my life. im always impressed how quickly they ship and receive dvds. their selection is pretty good yada yada. they recommended this movie called the forbidden zone to me so i gave it shot. danny elfman does all the music and plays a few parts in it i think, at least one part for sure. i wouldnt call it a movie. id call it a bunch of actors you recognize, but cant place, (except the lil' person from fantasy island) dancing around and humping shit in front of cardboard sets. although most was hard to watch, there were some gems buried amongst the piles of doo doo. like this:



ficky fie fuck you. that old guy does a lot of the aforementioned humping and its really uncomfortable.

also watched the nicolas cage movie know1ng and was very surprised at how MESSED UP it is! holy god. the disaster scenes are so incredibly graphic and include people on fire running at nicky cage screaming help me!! and only stop screaming because they have completely burned to death right before your very eyes. there is also a subway train derailment that crushes 81 bodies, twisting and ripping through them. again all right before your very eyes. shocking!

and last i was watching letterman, which i do every night now because of the digital switch and free converter box i scored (thnx noel). that lame girl katherine heigl from knocked up and the new romcom "the ugly truth," was on plugging the shitty movie. the clip they rolled was of her wearing "remote controlled vibrating underwear" (which i can only imagine what brilliant hijinks her costar used to get her into them). anyway theyre at dinner with either the chairman of the board of old guy inc./posh family who she is supposed to impress, i cant remember. anyway shes got these panties on. they start vibrating and shes all "oooo aaaaahhhhh" and shit and its revolting. but wait...whos got the remote? gerard muscles? nope. its a ten year old kid at another table! she then continues to climax at the hand of the small and chubby child who is grinning all the while. maybe i am just getting old and sensitive but WTF?! that is some seriously misguided comedy. had this been on tim and eric or something it would have made more sense, because those guys are gross and i expect it from them.

but yeah. if i learned anything from know1ng, this disgusting behavior will soon be erased by a solar wind that will burn us all to ash. except the children, who will all be abducted by aliens and brought to a new planet covered in wheat to start again. srsly. you cant make this stuff up.

my hair is fallin out again i think. not as much as the cat though. her shedding on a graph would correlate with the temperature here, which seems to be rising and rising, then cooling and cooling, then of course rising again. her shedding isn't due to stress or lack of vitamins. thats good to know:



her favorite toys are her mice that are fake but covered in real rabbit fur. she tosses them into the air and then pounces on them like this. and i mean exactly like this:



very presh. there is yet to be any broken ice or the finding of fish. i apologize to any people who only hear words out of my mouth that have to do with sachiko and her fluffy pants. sorta. heh heh.

CATS!

so the kitty below belongs to me. duh. her name is sachiko and for the first week she was the absolute best behaved kitty ever. i was reluctant to adopt a cat into my VERY SMALL apartment and was relieved when she didnt keep me up the first few nights:



however...she has since become more comfortable and less sick with whatever she had at that hell hole of a shelter i got her from. kitty meow meow is kitty loud loud. still, she doesnt claw my couch or do her peeps and poops anywhere but her cat box. also she is maybe the cutest cat ever and i love her. i just need a bigger apartment, or some ambien CR and ear plugs:



also she is really fat and you cant tell in these photos. they dont do her justice. im workin on some videos.

meow.

so there is this show on adult swim called "superjail!." this show makes me feel weird. its the same way aeon flux used to make me feel back in the day. i imagine comes from the shame of enjoying something so perverted and violent:



david wain is the voice of the warden so thats a bonus. i HATED it at first but now i find myself thinking about it fondly and often. i dunno if i should be worried... here is some fan art!:




also you can watch full episodes here:

http://www.adultswim.com/shows/superjail/indexpage.html#video

wait til about thirty seconds in for the pay off:

ths is what they are selling to 8 yr olds at macy's:



ths is designed after something in hannah montana's wardrobe. anybody who lets their little girl look up to her should be ashamed of themselves. didnt julia roberts prostitute friend wear that in pretty woman?

cutest commercial ever:



mmmmmmmm so nice. although it probably wouldnt have worked as well for me if they werent asian.

mmmmmm asians.

jimmy was kind enough to send this guy my way:



there are other videos of course but that one was my favorite. i didnt believe it was real at first but then i checked out his myspace and theunchartedzone.com. the top ten music video one is good too.

i really dont even know what to say about how amazing mark gormley is. thanks jimbo.

so the blog is called this is the future but i guess i dont talk about the futur very much. this though my friends, is the futur:



glowinggreens.com

black light mini golf. went there the other day and had an effing blast. its totally hidden in downtown portland. they give you 3-d glasses also for a buck that you "get to keep." didnt get it at first until i put them on. whoa. sober psychedelics. drugs are lame kids. go glow golfing.

my new favorite little guy:



i am hoping by the end of all my japanesey training i will be able to understand what it all means. is that a good enough reason to major in something? to understand cute commercials? i think so.

im planning on buying some mame shiba stuff on my new favorite website strapya-world.com. yups.

my brother rich forwarded this to me. it is fucking hilarious:

http://www.breitbart.tv/?p=258683

some movies worth mentioning but not necessarily worth watching:

Zardoz (1974) starring Sean Connery after he was done with the Bond movies. I'm taking this class called Utopia/Dystopia in film that seems pretty rad. the teacher is out of his effing mind, in a good way. he wears one of those leather jackets with newsprint on the inside from the eighties. i remembered seeing it around my house when i was a kid and noel's dad supposedly wore one too, confirming my faint memory of the thing. anyway we watched Zardoz for the first class. i don't recommend watching the whole movie unless you're under the influence of drugs or alcohol. after watching the trailer, you can see why:



i was shitting in my pants the first ten minutes of the movie., i mean, the year 2293 where a giant head flies around telling people that guns are good and the penis is evil while puking up guns? but yeah then it sort of dragged on forever with a bunch of silly imagery that only the seventies could really offer.

Heartbeeps (1981) starring Bernadette Peters and Andy Kaufman?? we were watching The Jerk, which i can't believe is still HILARIOUS after all this time, and shortly after it ended Heartbeeps came on. its about robots in love. randy quaid is in it too. how could i not have heard of this movie?



probably because it was super super boring and filled with the worst dialog ever. we were done with it after ten mins. its not worth watching clips really. they look too much like the fucking duracell people who still haunt my dreams:



man what a fucking freakshow.

PDXmas

so the plan was to fly into oakland, hang with my broham and friends in the bay, drive up to reno, then spend xmas with the fam. but then it started snowing. portland airport was slambo-ed and my flight was cancelled along with a ton of others. it was a mess. couldn't help but enjoy the scenery though:



the rest are here:
http://picasaweb.google.com/colbage/PDXmas#

not pictured: blue xmas tree purchased xmas eve for last minute thrown together xmas in my tiny tiny apartment. it was amazing. the tree, the presents, and well all of it really. i missed my family very much but it was still so effing cool.

the first few days of snow were filled with beauty and bliss and then it all turned to shitty slush. i was glad to leave it all behind to melt and head to reno. flew out on the 26th and had some awesome quality time with my fam and the best mom in the world who i wish i saw more often. planning on posting many pics of my mom's cat gracie who i think weighs 40lbs, ten of which is fur.

happy new year. i think its off to a good start!